Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
