I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
