Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
