why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
