Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
