You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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