The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
