How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
