Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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