Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
