I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
