You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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