You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
