so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
