Your tits are I can't wait for
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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