dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Text me some of your sweat
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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