So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
