She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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