I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Randomize
