I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
