and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
