I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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