Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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