yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
