Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
