No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
