We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
