If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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