Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
