oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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