I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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