no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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