mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
