I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they need to just BURY HIM!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
