Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
