Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
