Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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