after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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