Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
