Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
