You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
