Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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