I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
