My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
