God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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