I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
