What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
