Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
