you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
