why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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