I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
