Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
