it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
