I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
