Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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