would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
